Expert Talk 9@9 - Family Success Secrets - Katie and Steve Keene

Oh my gosh. It's 9:00 AM on Thursday morning. That means it's time for the 9 @ 9 with me TGo. Hey everybody. Welcome to the 9 @ 9. As you guys know, I love bringing great people on and the 9 @ 9 is about catching up with some of our favorite friends that have been on the show before. And today is no different today.

We have the host of the Family Success Secrets. They're my buddy, Steve and Katie. What's happening. You guys out there they are. What's going on? Good morning! It's so good to see you. Good afternoon for us. Good afternoon for you. Oh yeah. Hi, you guys. We're out east it's it's early morning over here with us. I'm still trying to wake up and pretend like I'm wide awake.

You had a coffee hasn't kicked in yet. So as you guys know, we've got like literally seven and a half, eight minutes or something like that before the rude producer that we have, Allen cuts us off. So let's dig right in and talk about, you know, your show. Let's tell everybody what's your show all about. Yeah, So basically our show is us and every other week we'll have a special guest to come on and give some sort of secret of how you can bring success into your family.

No matter what it is, whether it's trying to help improve your health, your family, finances, improve your relationships or anything like that. And that's basically what we do. And every Show ends with a quick win. Something that if it resonates, you can try to implement at home today. Oh, that's awesome. Okay. So that explains the title,

Family Success Secrets. Got it. Boom. So need to talk about a couple of things because I've been in grocery stores and I also have a neighbor who has three kids under the age of 5, and every once in a while you hear AHH! for what seems like absolutely no reason. And the Mom, especially in the grocery store is going Billy, stop that.

How do you like help little Billy get past the yelling? Yes. Well, we focus on both the children yelling and also the parents yelling. And what we work on is helping parents really investigate the internal triggers for their yelling and the internal triggers for their children's yelling. And then look at the external triggers as well. And to set up a framework around both of them so that they don't have to resort to yelling.

A lot of the time a child who's yelling is either feeling overwhelmed or is feeling a lack of control. And so there are ways to set that child up for success. Sometimes they also just are having a problem with communicating and they don't know what else to do. And they resort to that. And honestly, a lot of the time, that's why parents yell too.

So we help dig into that with the families that we work with and really solve it. So you guys are not just host, I mean, you don't just talk about families, you have kids, your parents, you gone through this, you trial and error, right? Yeah. Quite a lot. He was special needs. And right now they age 17 all the way down to six.

So we definitely have had our round of experiences and Round of a couple of yelling seasons I'm sure. So as a parent of parents of five and everybody, you guys should know they're husband and wife, they're, they're they're husband and wife, you know, they're my buddies, but they're husband and wife. So they're talking about their own kids. What about parents that are feeling like,

no matter what they do, no matter how hard they try, they feel like the failing, like they just can't seem to get it just right. What would you tell them? Yeah. Well, what we'd like to do is, is help them to see way down into the future. What would perfect be like, or what would great feel like for you 10, 20, 30 years down the road?

What do you want it to be like in your home? And now let's set some goals and let's work backwards so that we can get you there. And we have a system that allows him to do that. Let's Mom and Dad work together, figure out where they want to be, helps them bring in the kids, helps them to plan out. And it's very deliberate.

And so that's how we do it A lot of time. The lack of feeling that you are parenting, how you want to, and the feeling of being a failure can be attributed to not seeing what you are doing, right. And not really having a plan that helps you see the progress that you are making. And sometimes that feeling of having things out of control at home can create the idea that you're failing as a parent.

When actually you just need some things around you to set you up for success in the same, as your same for your child. Awesome. Now, before we get cut off, because 9 @ 9 minutes after nine comes lightning fast, we got like four and a half minutes left or something. Now let's tell everybody how they can, you know, check out your show,

check out your programs, where do they go? Okay. So you can find us everywhere that you might want to type in Family Success Secrets, both at Instagram, we're Family Success Secrets on Facebook. We have a page and a group that is also by the name, Family Success Secrets. And then if you want to get into our newsletter where you can access us directly,

go to podcast.familysuccesssecrets.com. And we send out a newsletter every couple of weeks and you can automatically respond to that. And we will receive your note personally. And we do run classes as well. Periodic, I think we do have a podcast by the name of Family Success Secrets, which is how it all started. Yeah. I thought the podcast was called Stephen & Katie.

No. Okay. I won't, I won't mess with that. So as you know, most people, you guys know watching the shows out there that I'm adopted. I've told my story many, many, many times. And I had older parents. They said, well, you know, gone on, but I was raised in a house where, you know,

my Father wouldn't look up from the newspaper when I was losing my mind. He would just, and I knew that was it. You know, that was the whole conversation. You know, I say, I love him. He said, when I had a great game today, that that's the kind of communication we had. But when I go into other people's houses,

there was a lady down the street, the wards, they lived down the road from me. They had 12 kids, they had six, they had a break and then they had six more. And none of them want twins. We're going to get into that in a minute. My question to you is how do you calm the chaos when you have a big,

big family in your house? Yes. So for us, that's been a matter of being intentional and keeping systems simple, but implementing systems with set expectations. Now, do you want to talk about expectations? Yep. So we set the expectations for behavior, for relationships, Mom and Dad, Parents to Kids, kids, kids, to each other,

and that sort of stuff. We set expectations for their routines and what they do. Now. We don't run bootcamp in our house. We are not drill instructors or anything like that, but we are deliberate. When we say here are the expectations for what you're going to do and how you're going to do it. Here are the expectations for how you're going to treat each other.

And here are the expert expectations for how you are going to speak with us and how we're going to speak with you so that everybody knows basically the rules. Everybody knows what's going on in the home. There's no surprises. So if you have those Moments that get out of hand, settle back down, come back down to earth because you don't have to think through what should you not do now you've already planned for it.

And to a large degree that that works. Right. I love that. I love that. So, you know, we've got like a minute and a half left and I know there's, you know, young Moms out there they're six months, seven into the pregnancy and they're anticipating that first baby, you know, they've already decided they're going to be president of the United States or,

you know, I don't know, run the world. What would you tell them? The first two or three months that they should be to kind of lay that platform for the new baby coming in? Oh, wow. Well, that's such a great question. All right. We have less than a minute. So I think I would begin by just really focusing on that bond with that baby.

Just bond with that baby. Love that baby. Enjoy every second and don't stress out because it's going to be okay. So just enjoy that time, that early time it's going to be okay. And while you're there holding your baby, have some time with your spouse and think through what you want the future to be like, like Steve mentioned, think about your vision.

What do you want Thanksgiving to be like in 20 or 30 years? And what does your spouse want it to be like? And if you have different ideas, how can you make that blend together? And then start thinking about the goals that you might want to set to try to get to that vision. I love it. I love it. I love it.

You know, we're going to get cut off in a minute here. I was just going to say, he's going to cut me off in a minute. So I wonder Steve and Katie for coming to hang out. You guys go check out Family Success Secrets on Instagram, on Google. The podcast itself is called Family Success Secrets. You can't miss it.

And as always, thanks for watching. Thanks for hanging out I'm TGo and I'll talk to you next time. Really Allen? Really? Bye bye.