The LAFAYA-WAY is on Expert Talk 9@9 - Expert Talk with TGo

Episode 7

The LAFAYA-WAY is on Expert Talk 9@9

After years of prompts by parents and colleagues, Lafaya has captured the philosophy and 4-Step methodology that has assisted her in offering hope and positive change in the lives of struggling families with hypersensitive, socially “misfit” children in her book series, “The Lafaya Way.”

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Transcript

Hey everybody. Welcome to the show. You know where you are Expert Talk with me. Well, it's kind of Expert Talk. It's the 9 @ 9. I'm a little nervous. We had some issues with some links. We had some things going on. Well, we got the Lafaya Way in the house. What's up? Lafaya Mitchell? Hello?

Hello. Hi everybody. I'm so happy to be back and talking with my girl TGo. Oh my Goodness. We had some link issues when we got this down. It's cool. How you been girl. Well, I'm good now, you know, she not talking about who had the link issues, but I appreciate you being nice to me, but you will find this will probably happen in the future,

but anyway, I'm doing really, really well. There's been a lots of new things that I've been up to. I'm excited about that. All kinds of stuff. Tell tell tell you know Allen's going to cut us off at eight minutes. So tell, tell, tell. Okay. So I'm trying to get the Lafaya university started. I already started that in our last interview.

We talked about my parents empowering parents program as well. I just, you know, that one has gone extremely well. So I have parents coming in there saying, oh my goodness, this, this Lafaya Way stuff. It's like changing my life. You know, now there's peace in my house and all that kind of stuff. So I'm taking those on recording and now creating a university of sorts for people to really be able to on their own time,

not have to come to the live classes, but actually be able to do it anytime they want. So it's been really, really cool. Yes. That's Amazing. So let me ask you because summers starting and you know, when I was a kid, we lived outside, I understand the new generation. They live on video games. Well, we lived outside and we went through COVID.

I mean, we were all shut down and all that last summer. So now it's been like two summers since kids have just been able to break free. So what advice do you have for parents? What are you telling them to like, not lose their child somewhere in a forest somewhere? What do we do Lafaya What do I do? Well,

first and foremost, step one. It find your calm because at this point your kids are probably going to be going a little bit crazy. Okay. Cause they haven't been able to get out for so long. Now that we're in a space where both and now is a transition period, because some have gotten the vaccine and the others have not, there are certain feelings about the vaccine from some,

right? So as a parent, you really have to gain some perspective that if my kid is losing their mind right now, then that's okay. Because I have more to do with the fact that they've been trapped in the house than it does that. They're just this annoying kid. So first and foremost, find the calm by understanding the real truth, which is everybody's going crazy right now.

True. True. And I know you have, you know, clients all over the country, you probably all over the world. And we all got used to doing exactly what we're doing now. We're zooming, we're face we're streamyarding we're whatever we're doing it on the computer. As my mother would say back in the day, and now people want to get in touch.

They want to get out there. Would they still have responsibilities that they created on computers. So how do you get kids to slow down and finish what they started inside? Well, see, now you explained it perfect to see this is the thing most of the time when we can explain what the problem is, we can usually put toss the answer right there in there.

So how do you get your kids to slow down, talk to them about it, say to them, Hey, I know that you're excited about getting out there right now. You're expressing to them that you're validating their experience. So you're not saying, Hey, hold on, slow down quick. You don't quit going crazy. And all that you're saying,

I understand that you've been stuck in the house for a really long time. But look, we don't want you set up in a position to where you haven't, you haven't finished things that you got started. Lets, Let's get you to just kind of slow down just a little bit, but still be able to have some you're fun, but slow just a little bit to finish up these little things,

let's get you a schedule and then we can get you into all your fun stuff too. We could schedule that in so that, you know, it's coming, This is true. But now we got to shift to the grown folk side because you know, grown folk right now, it feeling like that first day of school going back. Cause they've been at home,

you know, they've been working at home, they've been, you know, on furlough, whatever's been going on. They haven't been in that office. They haven't been in that store and they've been home with Jr and, and the daughters and the sons, and the dogs and the cats and all of that. And they got that in their routine. And now they're getting up at six in the morning,

taking a shower and having to get to the train and all that kind of stuff. But what do you say to the parent that's going, I know he's into something. I know he's into something and they can't concentrate at work! Now. I think that one of the pieces is first of all, give yourself a little grace because ju and just know, see, this is why I love,

you know, I'm always, I'm always given to the core four. This is why let us steps. Because when you're feeling that way, then you have to get yourself into a space where you understand, okay, what's the real truth here. I'm having all these bad feelings, where are they really coming from? They're really coming from the fact that,

okay, I'm just now getting re-introduced in the work. So let me figure out how to use some of my coping skills. That's why we use the psychology world, right? So my coping skills, which is sometimes it's just to kind of breathe that stuff up and out. So when you feel in a certain kind of way of bad kind of way means that there's a negative energy insertion in you,

and now it becomes your goal. Whether it be through whatever actively, intentionally kind of making sure that you're breathing that negative energy up and blowing it out or listening to something that you know helps to kind of get you calm and regulated, go for a walk during your break. Instead of sitting still in there at work and feeling more anxious, but do things that you know are going to work that energy out of you while acknowledging where it's coming from,

instead of believing all these worries to be the truth. I love it. I love it. Now, you know, I have the rudest producer in the business and he's going to knock us out of here at 9:09. We were in the middle of a sentence coming in and he knocked us out to go on. This is what the man does. He believes in the clock.

So before we run out of time, tell people where they can find you before I hit you with this next question. Okay. The best way to find me is LafayaWay.com. I don't think they have it written. So where L A F A Y A W A Y all one word.com. You can find everything. My YouTube channel,

my Facebook. Oh, no, all that. I don't know if I froze or if you did, but I believe you said LafayaWay.com because I looked up and I was like, okay. So I know we got like two minutes. I know that it takes like 15 minutes to really break down the four steps, but I'm going to put you on the spot and say in 60 seconds,

tell us the four spots. The four stops. Okay. The four steps, boots with the fur. Remember for F U R R R. Right? And so it's find the calm, understand the real truth, respond in alignment with your truest intentions and my three R's at the end, just to make it real complicated is recognize small step improvements, reinforce them highly,

and always going through the stirring and repeating of the four steps you follow that you will find that you will have more peace in influence in your life. And you are open, right? You're open for others. Come in. If they're in other cities, other states, other countries, and they just know their child, their family needs a little bit of the spice of the Lafaya Way.

They can reach out for your university, Right? Yes, yes. It, whatever your situation, I have a program for you. So whether it be finances, an issue, time is an issue, deeper circumstances with the kids as an issue. There's a program for that. You are amazing. This man's going to cut us off in a minute.

I want to thank you so much for being on the 9 @ 9 with me and having a good time, Lafaya, you know, this is your home. Come back anytime. Oh yeah. Love to see you. Can't wait to see you again. We made it. He didn't cut us off. I'm so... Now you know Allen. You didn't need to do that.

We Were right. There you go. Cut me off. Lafaya Thank you so much for hanging out with me for Expert Talk 9 @ 9. And as you know, I thank you guys for watching. I hope you watch next time. And as always I'm TGo, I'll talk to you next time, Rude Allen, plain old fashion rude.

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